Marry a Comedy Show?

We’re in Anaheim, we finish up the show, people are buying merchandise, and I sometimes do an autograph line. I notice this dude standing over to the side. He's just holding people's coats and their jackets. He's just being a really nice dude.

While I'm talking to him like, "Hey man, who's the cute little girl? Is this your daughter?"

He's says "Ah no, that's my girlfriend's daughter?"

So I'm like, "Yo, how long you been going out?"

He says, "10 months."

And I could see by looking at this beautiful little girl, that she's really attached to this guy. Anyway, I know this is going to be weird for some people because I don't even know this dude's first name yet, but I feel like I'm supposed to challenge him.

So, I pull him to the side and say, "Hey man, I understand kids and that little girl, in her eyes, you're her dad. I think you need to step up and marry this little girl's mom or get out the way so whoever her husband is, he can show up."

Dude looks at me kind of startled and he said, "I want to marry her, I just don't know what to do." I was like, "I got another show, you got a ring?"

So, I'm sitting with my team and we're kinda cultivating the plan because it could get messed up -- like it's happened before.  I don't wanna get too far into this without knowing for sure if Jamie is still onboard or not. So I give Jamie a call.

I tell him, “I just wanted to make sure you're making a decision based off of just how you feel like it should happen.”

Jamie tells me,” So yeah, I'm nervous. I feel like I wanna throw up, but I think that's how I'm supposed to feel.”

That's what he feels like, but he loves her though.  

Now when you come up with a plan like this, you gotta get the audience thinking in one direction and then when you change that direction in a way they're not expecting, boom! It makes the biggest impact.

Now I'm excited about the marriage. I'm excited about the proposal, but at the same time, there's like two thousand people here, so I wanna make sure everybody's getting what they want.

So, I’m telling Jamie on the phone, “We're gonna set it up so she has no idea. I can't really pull you away from her during the show because it'll make her think that there's something sneaky going on.”

Jamie: “Right.”

Me: “So what we're gonna do is we're gonna have probably three couples come up on stage.”

Why am I bringing up three decoy couple? Well, actually it's just two decoy couples and then the real couple. Let me explain. At a comedy show, on the stage, with a microphone, if you bring a couple up and people know they're girlfriend and boyfriend, everybody will jump the punchline. So what we're gonna do is we're gonna bring three couples up, then that way, nobody has any idea what's going on including Jamie’s fiancé, Allison.

Alright, here's how we’re gonna use these decoy couples. I'm putting the audience under the impression that I'm just bringing them up because they were at a different show and they were moved by it because again, at my shows, there's funny, but the name of my recent tour is called, More Than Funny. So I want to talk to these couples and see how they might have been inspired or whatever. What I'm really doing is I'm creating a pattern in the audience's mind, also in Allison's mind, on how this works. So first thing I do is I talk to the woman, right? And then I talk to the guy and ask, “is there anything you wanna say to your wife?”  I established that with couple number one. Move to couple number two, talk to the lady and then say to the guy again, "Is there anything you wanna say to her?" Boom! He says what he has to say and the pattern is set in the audience’s mind, but in Allison's mind as well. Now, it's time to talk to the real folks.

So here's the thing, I clearly told Jamie, we gonna have three couples up. Couples, meaning two adults. Jamie brings up the little girl. What is the little girl doing on stage? I don't understand! The plan was clear. It's a couple, not a “trouple.” Don't get me wrong, I love kids. In fact, I used to be one. But kids are unpredictable. You don't know what they're gonna do, how they're gonna respond.

Speaker 1: So what'd you think about the message there?

Allison: He's hard to receive. He doesn't receive things well, but the message that you gave him, just shook him and the way he received it, had an impact on me. So it helped me receive ...

So at this point I can clearly tell, by the look in Allison's eyes, she has no idea what's going on. I'm also doing the math on the audience and they don't have a clue either. Now, the question is, because Jamie is still looking a little nervous, is he gonna follow the instructions? Our biggest punchline, our truest punchline is for that brother to bend the knee and drop down.

I look at Jamie and say, “So, we've gotten to the message and what we talked about, is there anything that you wanna say to her?”

Jamie: “Yeah.”

Jamie says, “Can I marry you and your mom?”

Little girl, “Mm-hmm” (affirmative).

Jamie: “Can I be your daddy forever?”

Little girl: “Uh huh.”

Jamie to Allison: “Will you marry me?”

Allison: “Yes!”


For clarity, I'm the one who told him that he should bring the little girl. It was my idea. I just ... Yeah.

Yo, one of the things I enjoy most about this story is the fact that Jamie, admitting that he was fearful, he didn't know exactly what it was gonna look like, decided to step up and do what he knew was right. He decided, "Yep, I'm gonna be a husband. I'm gonna be a father to some people who really need me and who I care for." I have a heart for fathers and even kids who don't necessarily have a father around. Fellas, in what area, what relationships are you in right now that you're not stepping up and being fully committed to and what can you do to turn that around? How you wanna live? You wanna live with fear? Or you wanna live bigger, you wanna step out there and get it done? I'm out.

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Michael Jr. Productions

He's brought laughter to such stages as The Tonight Show on NBC, Jimmy Kimmel live & Comedy Central. You can also see him in Sony's new film War Room. Please welcome…. Michael Jr.